is it bad that this is funny to me too
VEGEMITE > YOUR SPREAD OF CHOICE
THEN WHERE IS THE AWKWARDNESS, I ASK YOU. WHERE.
INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING AND FLESH EATING IS ALL I EVER DO.
I LIKE THAT THIS ENDED AWKWARDLY. NO HANNAH, WE HAVE TO MAKE A PACT NOT TO BE AWKWARD, OKAY? NOTHING WILL BE AWKWARD. EVEN IF I ACCIDENTALLY EAT A PART OF MY OWN FLESH AND YOU QUESTION MY SANITY YOU JUST HAVE TO LAUGH AND PRETEND IT’S NOT AWKWARD. NOT EVEN WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY TOUCH YOU INAPPROPRIATELY.
- things I want on my blog
Australia also had rowers who were twin brothers and who competed in the Olympics. Oh yes. Geoffrey and James Stewart. One upp’d: they also had a third brother, another Olympic rower.
BE EXCITED. HE WAS INCREDIBLE. IF YOU ARE SEEING HIM WITH THE MSO AS WELL, BE DOUBLY EXCITED. I DOUBT YOU ARE THOUGH, BECAUSE I DON’T THINK HE’S HERE FOR THAT LONG.
PLEASE DO NOT BE ANON ANY MORE.
YES. IT WAS PERFECT IN EVERY WAY. He sang everything good and glorious, and then he sang a song called Thank You God for Fixing the Cataracts of Sam’s Mum which made me cry, and then he did an encore (I’m Not Perfect), and then another encore, which was White Wine In The Sun, and I wept. It was incredible.
Please god, see something else first. PLEASE.
He was perfect. His sandy blonde hair bounced when he did his signature move which was perfect. His lips looked so soft, his eyes so bright and his skin so flawless. The color purple looked amazing on him, I knew it was his favorite color.
THIS PLEASES ME
What if he totally thinks I’m ugly
- Rocky beat Taxi Driver in both Best Picture and Best Director.
- It took Martin Scorsese 30 years to win a Best Director award.
- Forrest Gump won over The Shawshank Redemption and Pulp Fiction.
- Shakespeare in Love won seven Academy Awards. That’s right. Shakespeare in Love beat Saving Private Ryan.
- And that time when Crash beat Brokeback Mountain for Best Picture. Right.
- Alfred Hitchcock never one a single Oscar. Psycho wasn’t even nominated for Best Picture.
- Orson Welles.
- Christopher Nolan.
- Jack Nicholson has been is nominated for an Academy Award for acting in every decade since the ’60s. Somehow he wasn’t nominated for The Shining.
- Academy, you need to pull the stick out of you ass and learn to laugh. And to laugh at something other than Shakespeare in Love (Paul Giamatti should have won for Sideways. And then there’s Jim Carrey (The Truman Show, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or I love you, Phillip Morris).
- Stanley Kubrick never won a Best Director Oscar.
- Leonardo DiCaprio has never won a Best Actor Oscar.
- Charlie Chaplin has never won an award for writing, directing or acting.
Get your copy of Inception. Go to the scene in which Cobb and Mal are lying on the train tracks, reciting their riddle. The train hits the back of Mal’s head, and then she wakes up, right? Wrong. Slow it down, or watch it frame by frame. For a split second, you see the train flash past. Just a split second. You can’t even see it when it’s played at the normal rate.
I almost cried when I noticed it. It’s an attention to detail that just doesn’t happen in the shoot-and-distribute industry. I don’t know what this post is about, I just wanted you to know.
YOU GET ALL OF THE AWARDS IN MY HEART
Today I read an article about Christopher written by a guy who had worked in UCL with him. Christopher was the guy who always wore suits and open shirts, and was dating the girl he would end up marrying, and the one who worked, and worked, and worked, and worked. He never stopped working. One day, this guy walked into Chris’ ‘office’ and he was filming a shot through a baking bowl. That was probably for Following, but the writer never found out.
He worked, and worked, and worked, and strained, and worked, and forced himself through every inch of film and every rainy day and every problem. He taught himself the software, taught himself everything he didn’t already know about the equipment. They thought he would get somewhere—perhaps commercials, or even those early-evening copper shows. But he knew what he could do, and he did it, and now he is a modern great. He brought arthouse to the big cinemas. He is one of the most brilliant filmmakers this incredibly subjective, creative, mad, intellectual world has known, and yet, after showing us one of the most incredible things he can create, from his own mind, he is told he is not the best.
And he is. He is the best.
I FUCKING LOVE YOU
WHAT IF YOU THINK I’M QUALITY? REMEMBER WHEN YOU USED TO THINK THAT:
I’m furious. I’m so fucking furious. The amount of people who think they have the given right to be disgustingly rude to people breaks my heart, there’s no other way to put it. It is uncalled for to pull somebody up for small mistakes, like fucking spelling errors. Spelling errors are not a moral concern. I bet you are the kind of person who judges people according to the kind of sunglasses they wear. You have driven one of my closest friends over the fucking edge of this website and to be honest I am on the verge of doing the same. Many of you are wonderful, but simultaneously the world is full of revolting individuals I have no desire to associate with. I will not judge you for your spelling, or your sunglasses, but I will certainly judge you for the way you treat others.